Broken Promises

Several years ago I met a fellow believer in the airport while returning from my daughter’s wedding in Florida. We engaged in great conversation, discovering many mutual interests. He was a decorated war veteran who'd worked in the Pentagon. As our conversation continued, he disclosed that he was in Florida on a business trip, and proceeded to pull out a book with pictures and descriptions of the properties his company owned, easily $5 - $10 million in real estate.

Cecil said he was looking for someone with my skills and background, that he would contact me upon returning home, and retain my services. After deplaning, his wife met Cozette, and we continued in great fellowship. We prayed and agreed as touching those things spoken. Then he said, "The Lord says for you to find a home for sale below market value, and my company will purchase it - for you." I did exactly as instructed - nothing happened. I contacted him regularly for months - no response. To this day he emails pithy anecdotes and inspirational stories, yet no mention of his promise. I wanted to ask him “Why?" Instead I took the matter to God, who gave me Philippians 4 peace surpassing my understanding, and I let it go.

What do you do when others fail to keep their word? Keep marching. I prayed the prayer of Stephen. "Lay not this sin to his (their) charge.” Though I don’t understand Cecil's behavior, I am only responsible for my actions and reactions to this and every situation which comes across my path. It no longer mattered what Cecil's motives were - it only mattered that my spirit remained pure and clear. I could not allow this to infect my heart and affect my future hope and faith in God.

I spoke with Robert the other day, a young man who tragically lost his mother at an early age. Hurt beyond description, he couldn’t understand why people said they would be there for him and haven’t. He was hurting deeply. I attempted to console him but don’t think I did a very good job. I asked forgiveness on behalf of everyone who made - and broke - promises to him, and encouraged him to let it go. He thanked me.

For every promise made and not kept, let's ask forgiveness. One positive that comes from these experiences is whenever asked to pray for someone, I don't promise to - I do it on the spot. Tomorrow's a mystery – life happens.

I don’t know that I’ll ever know why, but I do know that Cecil and Robert taught me the value of careful self-examination, scrutiny of and responsibility for my words, to under promise and over deliver, and to remember the old adage that if something sounds too good to be true, it more than likely is.

The ultimate act of self-mutilation is the violation of one's own word. © ® 2009 Promise Communications.

The Ministry Of Hearing

Children are such marvelous gifts from God. When we look at and study them carefully, we can glean profound truths and insights about ourselves. One thing I’ve noticed about the three year old my wife cares for is the fact that each time she is asked a question, or given a direct instruction, her immediate reply is “huh?” This response requires Cozette to repeat herself. Well, after noticing the pattern, and the fact that compliance was contingent upon having to repeat herself, Cozette brought to the child’s attention the need to listen. Children are focused on getting their needs, desires, wants and issues tended to. If their focus is their agenda, they seldom hear anything else the first time. Also, the non-responsive “huh?” gives them a little more time to think, especially in areas where they’ve been caught with their hands in the cookie jar, so to speak.

Does the fact that I listen to God in one area mean that He has my complete attention in every area? No. Is my love for God measured by my receptivity and responsiveness to His Voice? Yes. Is my agenda screaming so loudly in my ears until I can’t hear God? Often. When He speaks, how many times have I said, “huh?” Many more than I count. And yet God, like a patient caregiver, does not count it against me – He just keeps on loving me. John the Disciple was so blown away by this love until he wrote, and I paraphrase, “What kind of love is this that God has poured upon us, that we should even be considered, much less called, the sons of God?"

My personal goal is to walk so close to Jesus Christ until I am attuned to His Voice. I call it The Ministry of Hearing. What keeps me from hearing Him is the roar of my personal agenda, life stuff that’s under His control anyway. When I get caught up in the entanglement of life stuff, I forget that I have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the Righteous. This is where the roar of my agenda drowns out the still, small voice of God’s Holy Spirit. I shudder to think of the number of times I have failed Him in this area - too many to count, but not enough to leave me helpless or hopeless. And so this becomes my goal, the mastery of the ministry of hearing God, in every trial, test, storm or tempest. The ability to know that He is there to calm the winds of my life with just one word, “Peace.” And as well, to know that He is there to still the crashing waves of the water of my dilemmas with two words, “Be still.”

Peace. Be Still. Know that I am God, whether you hear me or not. My consistency is not determined by your attention span. My love is not triggered by the fact that you heed my call. My Love is a choice that was made once, and is unchangeable forever.

The Place Of The Press

In the bible, Gethsemane was called the place of the olive press. It was there that Jesus faced one of the greatest tests of His 33 and ½ years on earth. Here He was introduced to the place we all have experienced, or will experience – the breaking point. It was here that He felt the pressure of His impending sacrificial crucifixion, as the cross cast its shadow across His life. It was here the disciples, coming to accompany Jesus as He neared His final hours, failed Him. Having fallen asleep, even awake they could not ease the burden of His call or the weight of sin’s burden. It was here that His humanity cried out to God, saying “Father, if there is a way out, back-door, parachute, failsafe, ripcord, reset button, or cancellation clause, please let this cup pass from me.” It was in this moment that I believe Jesus got it all out. We don’t need to hold in our fears, worries, uncertainties, or negative anticipations – we need to get it all out. Release it. Find a way to let others know when they betray a trust, disappoint, take you for granted or abuse relationships. Don’t be religious and pious, believing that “God’s gonna work it out.” While I strongly advocate the biblical principle of long-suffering, we all must sense within our spirit when enough is enough – and afterward submit ourselves to the will of God concerning us.

Between these two phrases we see the stark contrast between Jesus’ humanity and divinity. Jesus was no different from you and I. He struggled with the flesh, and was only able to subdue it by the spirit. By the spirit He was able to transcend the present moment of agonizing in prayer to see that God had not changed His mind, and therefore neither would Jesus. Divinity spoke. “Nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done.” At the point this phrase was uttered, the struggle was over.

You can’t afford to quit now. This is the most important moment in your life. You are considering giving up when God is thinking nothing but great thoughts about you. If you knew that your breakthrough was just on the other side of faith combined with works, what great exploits would you be preparing to accomplish - right now?

God has placed a demand upon your life. Your destiny demands that you press through the discouragement, push past the pain, persevere beyond the circumstance, and stand in the face of the ridicule. You’ll never know how much strength, faith, hope, courage and discipline you have until you are tested to the full extent and measure of your spiritual character. This is your Gethsemane. Could it be that God knows the path that you’re on, where you should be on life’s path, and prepares to meet you based upon where you should be, not where you are, and is on a path of interception designed to cross your path at a designated point and place in time?

Do not allow yourself to be measured by the size of the test, but by your ability to conquer every fleshly challenge by the spiritual strength God has invested in you.

Who Are You?

And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you. Exodus 3:14

“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.” Karen Rayn

So who are you? Not your profession, others’ opinion of you, what you have accumulated or accomplished. Who are you? What are your top ten characteristics? Twenty? God was so fully invested in His own Person and Divinity until when Moses asked him who He was, God had no problem with self-identification – so why do we? We languish at the trough of false humility, serving only to dull the edge of our accumulated consciousness. We live off of past accomplishments far too long, sitting on our laurels while the engine of life races ahead of our tortoise-like pace. So as to clarify the discussion, we are not ignorant of self-indulgent selfishness promoting avarice, greed, usury and lust. Arrogance, self-possession and conceit are false positives. But we are talking about recognizing the best in us as just that.

I spent the first half of my life identifying myself by my accomplishments. I will spend the last half identifying myself by those characteristics making me the best human being I can possibly be.

There seems to be a coordinated conspiracy aimed at denying humanity of its self-awareness (not to be confused with selfishness), the conscious, purposeful investment in being the best person one can possibly be, not for monetary gain, but because in order to best utilize the circadian rhythm of life we must keep time with its beat. We all want it, but how often do we talk about it? Most often we do so in derivative and non-specific terms, such as professional aspirations. Why do you want to be a lawyer, accountant, physicist, laborer, technician, truck driver? How does that aspiration tie to who you are intrinsically? The pulse of life is driven by the heartbeat of our soul.

So what is your I am statement? Here’s mine:

I am born again. I am repentant. I am creative. I am intelligent. I am insightful. I am sensitive. I am loving. I am caring. I am compassionate. I am giving. I am empathetic. I am supportive. I am nurturing. I am loving. I am a friend. I am a confidant. I am truthful. I am transparent. I am self-aware. I am humble. I am grateful. I am appreciative. I am fully functional spirit, soul and body. I am made in the image of God.

It is highly likely my statement will evolve, as will yours, and as well they should. In order for my tomorrow to not be a repeat of my yesterday, I must do something meaningful today. My self-awareness then gives purpose to my days, meaning to my thoughts, direction to my choices and discipline to my actions. Here then is where I bring forth fruit which will remain. I then use whatever utilities are available to me - my career, profession, vocation, hobby, interest, calling or pursuit – as fuel to fulfill whatever needs present themselves, in myself and others.

The Cancer Of Fear

In the 1970s, researchers Paul Ekman, Wallace Friesen and Carroll Izard became interested in whether emotions differ across cultures, so they showed photographs of emotional expressions to people around the world to determine if a smile means the same thing in San Francisco as it does in Samoa. They found that everyone recognized an upturned mouth as the universal sign of happiness, and there was similar agreement about expressions of surprise, anger, disgust, sadness and fear. These findings suggest that basic emotions are automatic and preprogrammed, but the task of determining the underlying neural circuitry of emotions has been difficult. Fear was studied because it is easily-measured; heart rate and release of stress hormones. From minor apprehension to stark terror, fear helps keep us from harm. Fear learning is quick, powerful and long lasting. If you think back to your childhood, chances are good that within your earliest memory is an event colored by fear. Of all the emotions, the brain devotes the most space and energy to fear.

When Adam let fear into the family in the garden of Eden on that fateful day, he unknowingly unleashed a cancer of fear upon the human family. In the old testament there are 24 different words for fear, I believe one for each hour of the day. In the new testament there are 8 words for fear, I believe one for each life cycle, i.e. 8 hours of work, rest, and leisure. In scripture there are 365 fear nots, I believe one for each day of the year. I believe that one fear not from God each day will nullify 24 hours of fears. One fear not from God will cover us through each life cycle, whether at work, rest or play.

We reset the dial of spiritual authority in our lives by applying the word of the Lord directly to our fears, where we can then enter into His rest.

Success - The Hunger That Must Be Fed

Isaiah 55:10 (King James Version)

"For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater."

I apologize for my hiatus from the blogosphere. Forgive me. I've been on the grind writing my book, "Default Positions - A Matter Of The Mind," and am in one of the most productive seasons in my life, not only being purposeful in my daily pursuits for my own destiny, but contributing to the forward movement of others. I understand and realize that my success is directly connected to the success of others.

Success is a hunger that must be fed. People who fast from eating don't go shopping. The baby chick who chirps the loudest is the one who gets the worm. The above scripture says those with an appetite are the ones who will eat. How hungry are you for fulfillment of your dreams, goals, and objectives?

Most people will not come out of their comfort zones until their stomach growls. "Need more" drives purpose. What drove cave men to fire was a better way to live, eat, protect and stay warm. The wheel came as a means of easing the process of life. Basic everyday needs. What needs are not being met in your life? If you're waiting for God to do it, you'll be waiting. Get up. Today. Stop blaming others for where you are. Today. Take responsibility. Today. Do something every day. . Step out of your comfort zone. Today. Be willing to progress at the risk of setback and embarrassment - nothing ventured nothing gained.

What have you been doing? When you're doing what you're supposed to do, you move the ball down the field. Things will happen. Come on. We're waiting for what God has deposited in you for us. The world suffers because of a lack of you. Get busy. Stay busy. Let nothing stop you. Stay focused. Stay healthy, spiritually, emotionally and naturally. Exercise. Eat right. Pray. Worship. Read the word. Expect great things. Don't wait for a miracle - create your miracle.

I'm preaching to the choir - in this case myself. I'm getting back on the grind on this end. To whom much is given, much is required. You need this. I've got to give it, because I don't know which word, phrase, thought or idea will be the key unlocking you and unleashing you into your God-given destiny. I'll be faithful - promise.

25 Things You Might (or Might Not) Want To Know About Me

1. At age 10 I won a call-in radio contest ($13) on WKNR Keener 13 Detroit.
2. We were dismissed from Library class and sent home early one Friday from Willard Elementary School in Highland Park Michigan because President John F. Kennedy had been assassinated. I didn't want to leave school. I liked Library.
2. At age 11 I played The Hungarian Rhapsody #3 in my first piano recital.
3. At age I2 I played in the largest piano recital at Detroit's Cobo Hall, 1500 students from across Michigan played on 750 pianos supplied by Grinnell's Pianos of Detroit. I recall being a speck of pepper in a sea of salt that day.
4. As a Motown boy I grew up loving The Beatles (Eleanor Rigby), Procol Harum (A Whiter Shade Of Pale), Jimi Hendrix (All Along The Watchtower), Janis Ian (Society's Child & Seventeen) Dusty Springfield (To Sir With Love) and too many other non-black faves to mention.
5. I hated Smokey Robinson & Diana Ross (winers), loved The Temps, Gladys, Stevie, Marvin and The Four Tops. I could go on but I won't.
6. At age 13 while standing on the steps of New Jerusalem COGIC 7361 Linwood Avenue, I looked a mile north as a massive cloud of smoke and humanity made its way toward us. We got out of church early that day for a change. It was the 1967 riot.
7. At age 14 while at choir rehearsal with my Mom, I ran to answer the pay phone in the basement - a great chance to get away for a minute (I'd burned my only bathroom break already). The voice told me to tell the choir that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had been assassinated. I walked slowly upstairs to tell a waiting choir. We got out of rehearsal early that night. I felt bad.
8. At age 15 I sat next to NBA great Spencer Haywood my first day of high school. I wondered what this full-grown man was doing sitting in a desk he could crush with one swipe of his gargantuan hand.
9. At age 16 I fell in love with Jacquelyn Yvonne Martin.
10. While standing on her front porch one sunny summer day I was shot at by a man who was angry at her brother Mel for raping his 16 year old sister. I felt granules of brick spray across my cheek as the ricocheting bullet hit the house not 6 inches from my head. Frozen in shock, Jackie saved my life by pulling me into the house.
11. Jackie and I were walking home from school, as a car full of drunken grown men drove by, saying what they'd like to do to her. We recognized one of the men - her father.
12. At 17 I was voted Mr. Entertainer by my high school graduating class. I played the lead in most of the Pershing High School plays: Dracula Baby, Cyrano De Bergerac, Li'l Abner, Dr. Faustus & Scrooge. As I sat in the empty auditorium days before graduation, I knew I'd never have that much fun again in my life. I was right.
13. At 18 Jackie ditched me for an older man.
14. At 19 I was living with my new girlfriend Airlene Fowler.
15. At 20 I hung out with one hit wonder Jimmy Ruffin's ex, Clara, a fun loving lady who sent limos to pick me up to party hard with the desperate wives of the Motown set. I was labeled her "security." She gave me a pearl-handled .38.
16. At 21 I sold and used weed and drugs to and with a choir I sang in.
17. At 22 I tripped out on mescaline at New Bethel Baptist church, Aretha's dad's church. A pastor named District Elder David L. Ellis sitting in the balcony whispered a silent prayer - I was saved one month later at his church.
18. At 24 I married Angela Denere Montgomery, and together we had four beautiful children; Darryl II (DJ), Brandon, Christopher and Brionne. We divorced after 12 years. I went to work for Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Michigan where i remained for nearly 20 years.
19. Ishan Danny Birchett and I founded a group whose members included Fred Hammond and Mitch Jones, among others. I helped mentor Byron Cage during his formative years. I hosted an Emmy award winning TV show for 10 years and wrote a Grammy nominated song.
20. I took a floundering radio show and turned it into the first 24 hour black gospel radio station in Detroit.
21. I married Lynn B. and divorced 18 months later.
22. I married Carolyn D. and divorced 90 days later.
23. I was fired from the radio station for announcing my call to pastoral ministry; it was viewed as a conflict of interest. I worked for another radio station and was fired as well.
24. My favorite snack food is Cheetos; cereal is Millville Red Berries (available at Aldi's), gum is Big Red, fast food is White Castle #3 with Coke (light ice), deli food is Bread Basket's United Meat and Lafayette Coney Island's Special two on one with everything.
25. I married Cozette, and we'll be celebrating 15 years in the Bahamas as we repeat our vows this December. Please join us.